happiness

this is so true. often times we are all so busy to stop and take notice when things are just plain good. right now, I am taking notice. through the madness of our crazy valentines day in kindergarten today, I had to stop and look.

through the craziness of my everyday life, the hectic but exhilarating trip to NYC this weekend, and everything else that i have going on each day, I am making sure to stop and take notice of the good in my life.

dear nyc....get ready, here we come

and this is where it will all go down!  headed to pittsburgh today....headed to nyc tomorrow.....meeting up with my two sisters for some much much anticipated sister quality time. 

it is so refreshing to spend time with them.  the three of us couldn't be more different, but they just get me.  i get them.  we accept either other's views, we support each other's decisions.  sometimes we are brutally honest with each other.  other times, they are soothing at the exact times i need.  they hurt when i am hurting, they're strong for me when i don't have strength of my own. 

this has been a very long, draining, testing, and exhausting week for me in my personal life.  the past few months have been this way.  they give me space when i need it, and they give me all of themselves when i need them most. 

i often find myself feeling guilty for this.  especially in the last 5 months.  i feel like i have been taking and taking and taking their offerings to me.....and i feel like i don't reciprocate enough.  i have felt like this little lost puppy who constantly needs reassuring, strength, support, and their constant advice and motivation.  it's hard for me to sit back and think of a time when i have been there for them.  it's been just all about me since october and when have i given all of myself to them?   have i been so blinded by my circumstances that i have been completely absent to their needs?  i think this will be an intention i will explore from now on.  am i present enough for them? or am i so selfishly consumed with my own thoughts that i have left their needs in the dust?

the best thing about them is that if i have done this......they will not even blink an eye about it.  they have already forgiven me, they probably weren't even upset in the first place.  and it's because of that, that i adore and love them from the very top of my head to the very tips of my toes. 

sunday joy

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seriously???  how can you NOT smile when you look at this photo.....it is pure joy.  who ever knew that a camel could be so happy, and this little stinker baby....oh. my. goodness.  i just want to take those cheeks in my hand and smoosh them all over the place. 

i'm feeling quite similar today!  i am having a reiki session done this morning by Sona, my yoga teacher.  this is my first one.  i've been looking forward to it for so long.  i am really craving some balance these days, and i'm really excited to walk in with an open heart, and let the whole experience wash over me. 

i've also been staying at matt's mom's condo that looks over the lake.  this has been a true blessing and gift.  while i am so grateful that my parents have opened their house to me over the past year, i needed some time and space to just be present with myself, be quiet, and to have some space of my own to just breathe.  the setting is perfectly me.  quiet and calm with it's lovely view over the lake and the bay.  i snapped this photo last night of the sunset.  just makes you want to take a deep breath and take it all in.

my other source of joy, is that in just a very short 4 days....i will be driving to pittsburgh to sleep at heather's, to wake up early to drive to the airport, to fly to NYC, to meet our littler sister rachael, to spend the weekend eating, shopping, and having some much needed sister time watching fashions (because it's fashion week there!) and enjoying the beauty of that magnificent city.  phew!!!!  i cannot wait!!!!  i sorta wish we would have all taken off monday so that we'd have an extra day there......but i guess we'll just have to plan another trip (oh darn...)  i'm so excited about it that i want to just jump up and down and, most likely, look just like that child in the photo with the camel!!

so there you have it.....JOY....on so many levels.  pure joy!

quiet courage

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today i will have quiet courage to get me through the day....and if that doesn't work, i will try again tomorrow

thoughts in my head

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight

the last photo is something that i truly try to tell myself every day.  i think that even at age 30, i have so much to learn, so much to accept of myself, and honestly, so much more work to do.  i guess that i felt that by the time i reached this age....that i'd have it all figured out.  boy was i ever wrong. 

i think that this is a time when i am actually finding myself.  i am more confident to pursue the things that interest me.  i am stronger about branching out and doing things on my own.  i am more comfortable spending time alone, and i actually long for it.  as i am growing, i need more and more quiet time.  time to reflect.  time to accept.  time to think.   time to just be. 

lately, i have really wanted to just get away and spend some time alone.  i was trying to do some searching on places where i could go away for a weekend all alone and just focus on myself.  maybe get a massage, lay in a big comfy bed reading a book, veg out, take a hot bath, and just be quiet.  the thought of taking time like that to myself almost brings me to tears.  i think it would totally rejuvinate my soul and my mind.  hopefully i will find a place very soon.  because i am certainly on the lookout.

lost....

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i was reading this blog today and i came across this quote that touched me deeply. 

"the best way to find direction is to loose your way"

i'm not sure who said it, or where it originated from, but right now....this quote explains my entire being.  I wrote it on my mirror, and i have to remember that whatever is happening, no matter what it is, i need to just trust that everything will unfold the way it's supposed to. 

all i can do

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this is just about where i am at, at the present moment.  it's all i can do to just be enough.