Saturday, October 22, 2011


i have been working on myself lately.  sometimes i am doing well, but this week i am not.  i believe that this is all part of the process.  good days and bad days.  i was excited to be having so many good days, but these bad days have been filled with many extreme emotions.  it's hard to feel helpless.  and thinking about the unknown is even worse. this uncertainty.  sometimes things happen that are out of our control.  the only thing that remains is that "time" thing i spoke about a few posts back.  currently, time is my worst enemy.  i feel like there is too much of it, too much to dwell on, too many hours in the day, and it's something that i have to give someone because i love them.  i don't want to give it, because i'm scared it's going to become something all too precious that i'm going to wish back at some point.  but here is that uncertainty.  that unknown. 

i'm supposed to be working on myself during this time.  that is what i'll do.  moments of emotion, tears, anger, pain, sometimes cleansing breaths, random  moments of calm, frequent heartbeats filled with anxeity.  but i will make it.  somehow, i seem to find strenght somewhere.  sometimes through hope.  and hope is what i hold on to. 

Sunday, October 16, 2011

vegas in october

My trip to visit matt was magical.  We had the most wonderful time and spent every second together.  It felt so good to have him near me in the flesh, and we were able to reconnect.  The absolute best part was the fact that i could reach out and hug him whenever i wanted. 

Just a short 38 days until i get to see him again!  Bring on the countdown!

Here are some highlights from our trip

I miss him already and i cannot wait to see him again soon!!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

so so lucky

Tonight is tuesday....tomorrow is wednesday.....the next day is thursday.  Thursday is the day i drive to pittsburgh after work to see my sister, have a nice dinner with her, stay the night at her house...and then FRIDAY!!!!  Friday is the day i get up really really really early to make my flight at 6:20am to fly to Vegas to see my hunny!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

i. love. ellen.

Remember this post with that beautiful little floral green teacup.  Well, a couple weeks ago, after a long day of kindergarten....I had a little brown box waiting for me at home.  That little brown box was from one of the dearest people I know.

See her?  That's Ellen, Matt's sister.  I believe in my heart of hearts that we are soul sisters.  Well, i have no clue where that teacup had come from, i just saw it in a photograph, and was smitten with it.  So, i open up the little brown package and out pops this!
Yup, my souls sister searched and searched and found the cup right here.  And ever since then, I am loving my coffee in the mornings.  And i pretty much also love her.