i have had a heck of a couple of weeks. especially the last one. it's been a whirlwind. it's like i am sitting still and all of the things on my to-do list are spinning around me like a bunch of tiny tornadoes. and at the same time, matt has been busting his (very cute) little hiney house hunting out is vegas. hes been eating, breathing, and sleeping houses lately. i know it is weighing heavy on him. he's feeling the pressure of me being out there in a very short two months, and i know he wants to make sure we have a roof over our heads. i have so much to learn from him. he is so so driven. he's so strong. he just makes things happen.
i'm sitting down for the first time right now without anything to do. i just finished my school work for the week, i took my big certification exam this morning, my brain is just about spent. but i am reflecting on how much i have to be thankful for. i may have a lot on my plate right now....but who doesn't? and why do i feel like i am the only one who has a million and one things to do?
i've worked my buns off the last 18 months for school, and i have managed to keep a 4.0...why isn't that enough? i have the most supportive family, i have amazing friends, the best kind of love who happens to be my best friend....why do i insist on overlooking all of these things?
i need to be more present in my world. i need to stop...freaking....out. i almost can't stand to be around myself!
so today starts it. i need to realign my thoughts and know that i'm ok...i'll be ok...and that everything will eventually turn out ok. i'm going to find joy in every day. because when i project these happy, positive, joyful feelings out into my universe....magically, thats what the universe sends gracefully back to me.
it's amazing what a little quite time to ponder does for me. it brings me back my joy, my sunshine, my grace.
peace and love
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
It's beautiful to me that something written so long ago can mean so much in the present.
Someone whom i've just met a few days ago told me tonight that i remind them of this poem. i came home and looked it up....and honestly, i love that they saw this in me.
over the next few days, i will try and be gentle to myself and to keep peace in my soul. i will surly need it come monday.
Posted by Missy Ann at Saturday, April 07, 2012