Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I truly have the greatest friends!

Namely this girl........

Here's why......Just after having such a hard day Erica posts this on my facebook wall....

After watching is several times......i decide to show her just how much she made my day......this is what i emailed her

She is seriously awesome......just when i needed a good laugh, Erica delivers.  Hilarious!!!!

PS sorry for no sounds on my video....i can't figure out why there was none and it's too late to get all techie over here.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Thank you Bob Marley

Today I woke up really emotional.  It's my last day here.  Matt got up early to run a couple errands, and I am here watching the news and having coffee.....my normal morning routine, but a bit more heavy hearted today. 

Tomorrow is just going to suck.  I know I have so much to look forward to when I return home.  The start of new classes, the beginning of a new job, returning to yoga, and obviously still having all of my family and friends there.  It's just going to feel like a piece of me is missing. 

I am scared of what everyone says about long distance relationships.  We've all heard it before.....but a part of me feels so confident that we'll be the exception to the rule.  We're older now, we're not young kids, and i feel like we have such a solid relationship when it comes to communication.  I'm trying to remind myself that each time i start to get choked up.  (which is about every 3 minutes)

Last night Matt and I went to watch the Bellagio fountains on the strip.  On our way home we heard Bob Marley's song "Three Little Birds".  It was so appropriate at that moment.  I think I'm going to make this my personal mantra to help get me through the weeks until I see Matt again.

In the car, I grabbed Matt's hand, and sang it loudly with little tears rolling down my cheeks.  It's going to be so hard being away from Matt, but I'll be strong.  I'm allowed to cry for a couple days, but then I have to pick up and can't forget to enjoy my life....a bit more independently.  I'm ok with that. 

Don't worry, about a thing....cause every little thing...is gonna be alright.....Thanks Mr. Marley.  I'm gonna need this!

The last leg of our trip...a little late

Here are some phone photos I snapped from the last day of our driving trip.  We had such a good time together.  Everyone was talking about how horrible spending 3 days in a car together would be, and it turned out to be the exact opposite.  We really enjoyed each other's company and I am so glad we have this trip as a memory together. 

This next week will be filled with lots to do to get Matt moved in, set up in his classroom, and settled here in Vegas, and trying to spend time with my family here as well. 

Busy busy busy!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Roadtrippin Parts 1 & 2....because i was WAY too tired last night

Part ONE

Rain rain go away.....here is how our morning started off yesterday.  It wasn't looking like it was stopping whatsoever, and it pretty much continued all the way through......
Blah.  But in the middle of all of talking and talking and talking, Matt and I realized that it had stopped raining and turned into....

This definitely helped the drive, and lifted our spirits just a bit. Time seemed to be flying by at this point.  We kept busy with our iPods and were just keeping each other company.  That's the thing I love about Matt....he's so easy to talk to, and we're never really at a loss for things to talk about. 

Even though I was anticipating this trip to be pretty sad and emotional, I didn't really feel any of that our first day.  It was sad in the morning when we left, seeing Matt having to say goodbye to my family, and especially the dogs.  But as we ventured out of Pennsylvania and through Ohio, my heavy emotions were fading away just like the rainy skies. 

Our conversations got pretty deep, talking about life and such, and I was mesmerized by the beauty our country.  We thought about all of the people driving past our car.....Who were they?  What are they talking about? Where are they going?  Are they driving in sadness or happiness or is this a drive that they take every day?   

I was also pretty captivated by the windmills.  Gosh I love those.  Nothing says beauty like some good old clean energy.  Here are some shots I snapped.

Today was our long day......and we wrapped up the day by stopping in Des Monies, Iowa.  We were exhausted as we pulled into our hotel.  We grabbed a quick dinner, showered, and went straight to bed.  I layed there thinking about how quickly time went by, and how much fun it was to drive through these states I've never been to before.  I felt lucky we had the freedom to do this, and grateful that I live in such a gorgeous country.  Amidst all the complaining, the crashing economy, and the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives, this is a stunning country, and a beautiful landscape to be a part of. 

Part TWO 

Waking up pretty rested, we ate breakfast and hit the road again.  I was excited for today because we were driving through the rest of Iowa and into Nebraska and Colorado.  Seriously......i have never seen so much corn in all of my life.  I mean hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of miles of corn.  Holy cow......or Holy corn!  (The documentary Food, Inc. was finally making some sense to me)

But you know what else I got to see?  Farms!!!!!!  With Cows!!!!!  And Barns!!!!!  Please enjoy....


Colorado was also beautiful.  It was just one long road with miles of landscape on either side of us.  No big buildings, no big yellow arches; just rolling hills of green farms, happy cows, long trains passing in the distance, and big tractors with busy farmers on top. 

This definitely sparked more conversations about life, and it made me feel so very small in comparison to how great and big this world is.  It made me feel humble and feel like all the little idiosyncrasies I seem to complain about on a daily basis really do not make a dent in whether or not they matter in the really big picture of things.  I am just a speck of dust living amongst all of the great beauty of our country.  Matt and I compared it to the Dave Matthews song "The Space Between"....and once I had time to think about it.....the space between me and the person living in that barn, taking care of that cow, and making sure that corn is growing, is so big.....it almost made my brain spin round and round. 

I love this trip I am taking.  I love that I am getting to see our country, and I am trying to do so with great big open eyes and mind.  And I love that I am taking this trip with Matt.  It's nice to spend this time together before I have to leave him in Vegas and go back to Erie.  So many exciting things will be happening for the both of us.  I wish we could be doing our things in the same city......but perhaps some day. 

In the meantime, I am excited to see what the rest of Colorado and Utah and Nevada bring me tomorrow.  I can't wait to see my family whom I haven't seen in many years.  And I can't wait to see Matt's life in Vegas.  This has been such a great bonding experience for us.  I'm sure most people would cringe at the thought of a 3 day driving trip, but I am loving it.  And hopefully I am not driving him too crazy!!!

I'll leave you with just a few photos Matt snapped while I was driving in Colorado....

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

body rhythms

Matt is so brave.  For everything that he has been through, it is astounding to me how brave he is.  He is so excited to go back to school and teach again.  His passion can be seen while he talks about it. 

This morning and afternoon, we sat on the deck talking about how we get our bodies back in a routine after a summer of being off from school.  The thing for him is, after going through such a severe chronic fatigue illness, is he's having a hard time deciding whether his tiredness when he wakes up is just normal "it's too early to be up" tiredness, or his chronic fatigue. 

After talking it through and telling him that I go through the same things, he knows it's just his body getting back into a rhythm.  I think that fear of his will wear off after a bit.  Once he gets back into the swing of things.....i know it will.  It will slowly fade away and his confidence in his well body will grow again.

He is so brave, and so positive, and so hopeful.  I have so much to learn from him. 

Sunday, August 7, 2011

My heavens....it's been a while

Goodness gracious...i have been absent for a very long time.  Since vacation, all i have been doing is school, work, and spending time with my Mr. before he moves across the country. 

In the month and a half i've been gone, i have gotten a new job at a local Montessori school.  Lord, i love Montessori.  I cannot wait to start.  It feels so good that i'll be working in a place that i truly believe in. 

The rest of the time, my Mr. and i have been spending time together non stop.  It's been both wonderful and a little heartbreaking.  Each day gets closer, and i realize that it's only a matter of weeks before he is gone, and i won't get to just call him to come over, or just stop at his house.  And now, those weeks that i was counting down have turned into one week.  We officially leave on the August 14th.  Next Sunday. Ouch. 

I am, however, so stoked that we are making the drive together.  We will have 10 full days together before i have to use my sad one way ticket back to pennsylvania.  I think i am going to blog our way across the country and try to document each leg of our trip.  I'm super excited for this!!  The Mr., not so much. 

Meanwhile, my mind is clogged with a bunch of sadness that i am trying to push aside, because i am truly happy that he is finally well, healthy, and ready to work again after this horrible, unthinkable illness took over his body, his life, and his whole being.  When I think about how bad it was, my heart fills up with happiness for him to finally have a purpose again.  He is such a positive man, who uplifts me and supports me.....it's not fair if i take over this joyous time for him because i selfishly want to be close to him at all times. 

I think this will be a good time for me to get myself together, too.  I promised myself that after many bad experiences of putting others before myself and losing myself in the past, that i would not do that this time.  I have been strong here and i haven't....but i will have more time to focus on myself and to find happiness in my own ways. 

I have lots of fears about him leaving, but i am looking forward to starting new classes, teaching Montessori again, focusing a bit on myself, and for whatever plans fate has set out for me and my Mr.