Sunday, August 7, 2011

My heavens....it's been a while

Goodness gracious...i have been absent for a very long time.  Since vacation, all i have been doing is school, work, and spending time with my Mr. before he moves across the country. 

In the month and a half i've been gone, i have gotten a new job at a local Montessori school.  Lord, i love Montessori.  I cannot wait to start.  It feels so good that i'll be working in a place that i truly believe in. 

The rest of the time, my Mr. and i have been spending time together non stop.  It's been both wonderful and a little heartbreaking.  Each day gets closer, and i realize that it's only a matter of weeks before he is gone, and i won't get to just call him to come over, or just stop at his house.  And now, those weeks that i was counting down have turned into one week.  We officially leave on the August 14th.  Next Sunday. Ouch. 

I am, however, so stoked that we are making the drive together.  We will have 10 full days together before i have to use my sad one way ticket back to pennsylvania.  I think i am going to blog our way across the country and try to document each leg of our trip.  I'm super excited for this!!  The Mr., not so much. 

Meanwhile, my mind is clogged with a bunch of sadness that i am trying to push aside, because i am truly happy that he is finally well, healthy, and ready to work again after this horrible, unthinkable illness took over his body, his life, and his whole being.  When I think about how bad it was, my heart fills up with happiness for him to finally have a purpose again.  He is such a positive man, who uplifts me and supports me.....it's not fair if i take over this joyous time for him because i selfishly want to be close to him at all times. 

I think this will be a good time for me to get myself together, too.  I promised myself that after many bad experiences of putting others before myself and losing myself in the past, that i would not do that this time.  I have been strong here and i haven't....but i will have more time to focus on myself and to find happiness in my own ways. 

I have lots of fears about him leaving, but i am looking forward to starting new classes, teaching Montessori again, focusing a bit on myself, and for whatever plans fate has set out for me and my Mr.


2 comments:

  1. good luck with the new job and i hope the best for you and the Mr. :) you are such a good example about staying positive--so inspiring!

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  2. Yea! PLEASE blog your trip because I really want to see it/hear about it. What an amazing experience that will be for you! You hang in there, little Sis! You're doing SO great so far and I know that you and Mr. will be just fine because you're an amazing couple!

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