i have had a heck of a couple of weeks. especially the last one. it's been a whirlwind. it's like i am sitting still and all of the things on my to-do list are spinning around me like a bunch of tiny tornadoes. and at the same time, matt has been busting his (very cute) little hiney house hunting out is vegas. hes been eating, breathing, and sleeping houses lately. i know it is weighing heavy on him. he's feeling the pressure of me being out there in a very short two months, and i know he wants to make sure we have a roof over our heads. i have so much to learn from him. he is so so driven. he's so strong. he just makes things happen.
i'm sitting down for the first time right now without anything to do. i just finished my school work for the week, i took my big certification exam this morning, my brain is just about spent. but i am reflecting on how much i have to be thankful for. i may have a lot on my plate right now....but who doesn't? and why do i feel like i am the only one who has a million and one things to do?
i've worked my buns off the last 18 months for school, and i have managed to keep a 4.0...why isn't that enough? i have the most supportive family, i have amazing friends, the best kind of love who happens to be my best friend....why do i insist on overlooking all of these things?
i need to be more present in my world. i need to stop...freaking....out. i almost can't stand to be around myself!
so today starts it. i need to realign my thoughts and know that i'm ok...i'll be ok...and that everything will eventually turn out ok. i'm going to find joy in every day. because when i project these happy, positive, joyful feelings out into my universe....magically, thats what the universe sends gracefully back to me.
it's amazing what a little quite time to ponder does for me. it brings me back my joy, my sunshine, my grace.
peace and love